Author: | Adele | Published: | over 9 years ago |
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Tags: | writing, fiction, crimes, Adele Jones, Point of View, head hopping | Category: | Writing tips |
Today it’s my pleasure to welcome author Adele Jones as our first guest blogger. Having just had her first novel ‘Integrate’ published, Adele knows all too well the perils of those rascally fiction crimes and how to avoid them. In this post, she explains one of the more heinous problems involving Point of View. ___
Hang on, how does Kate know her face has paled? And who the heck’s Bernie?
What’s happened here? One moment we were intimately connected to Kate’s inner thoughts and emotions, next minute we’re on the outside looking in, stuck with Bernie’s repellent ‘insights’. (Seriously Bernie, get a life.)
In the writing world this slip in point of view (PoV) in a given scene is called head hopping. It’s seen all too frequently, even at the hands of well known, highly acclaimed authors. Head hopping essentially throws the reader from one PoV to another and has the nasty power to completely ruin the flow and emotional tension the author’s worked so hard to develop.
The best way to understand the disruption of head hopping is to read an unfamiliar, but gripping passage where this occurs. Sometimes I’ve found myself barrelling along in a scene when I’ve suddenly realised I’m reading something completely external to the narrator – something that could only come from the head of another character in the story. This forces a reader to stop and backtrack to where the PoV has switched. Gone is the momentum and tension that was building.
Head hopping is different to third-person omniscient narration. That is, when the narrator knows the thoughts and feelings of all characters in the story. This form of narration is distinctly distant; God-like. Head hopping occurs when the reader is settled in a particular character’s head, only to be thrust outside (either subtly or forcibly) and hurtled into the opinions and emotions of another.
As a writer, the most difficult element of head hopping is the ease with which a slip can occur. In the above passage, we could have left the ‘hop’ at the paling of Kate’s face then delved back into her thoughts. As subtle at this would be, it’s still a switch in PoV. Even mention of an external reference can detract from intimate narrator insights and inner dialogue. Worse, mid-paragraph (or mid-sentence!) you can land in the head of another character. Abrupt – and annoying.
Why not take a moment to examine the latest scenes of your current writing project? Note the PoV character and consider if they would actually know all the thoughts, emotions and observations included. If not, perhaps you’ve fallen prey to a head hop. So watch out for these sneaky little slips and avoid making your readers hopping mad. ___
Adele Jones lives in Queensland, Australia. She’s had a variety of short works published and had her first contemporary YA novel ‘Integrate’ released in September 2014. A historical fiction novel is due early 2015. Her writing is inspired by a passion for family, faith, friends, music and science – and a broad ranging imagination. To find out more visit www.adelejonesauthor.com
Comments read 2 comments
Adele, thanks for being the first ever guest blogger on The Write Flourish. Really appreciated your insights and it was a good reminder to me to watch out for those sneaky head hopping incidents. I try not to make an obvious switch in PoV, but it's easy to slip into the more subtle ones like 'her face paled'. I'm sure I've got some of those in my manuscript. Whoops. Back to the editing cycle :)
Hi Adele
Thanks for a great explanation. I agree it can be jarring when one's deep in the character's point of view and then suddenly flipped into another characters head. A bit like Sam Becket in the old TV show Quantam Leap - one feels disorientated. I think you nailed it in calling the difference between an omniscient narrator (who is not confined to one point of view but is looking from above) and deep or even limited third person point of view. The issue with an omniscient narrator is that this approach lends itself to more telling than showing (another contemporary fiction crime that Nola dealt with earlier).
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