Author: | Nola | Published: | over 6 years ago |
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Tags: | POV, point of view, omniscient, head hopping | Category: | Writing tips |
No, we’re not talking about the transfer of nits (they can’t hop anyway). However, head hopping can be just as irritating. It occurs when you’re in the point of view (POV) of one character, but then switch to the perspective of another within the same scene. This is different from omniscient POV in which you have a god-like narrator who hovers over the action and is privy to the thoughts and feelings of all the characters. (See my post on omniscient POV and the guest post by Adele Jones on head hopping.) The problem with head hopping is that it disorients readers and catapults them out of your story. Consider the following:
The first few lines put you into Celeste’s head. She has a backstory full of bad memories. Someone is after her. She has to rise above her fears. And then … we’re in Draper’s perspective and the ending loses its punch. While head hopping between characters is the most common POV slip, subtle head hops can also occur when a character inadvertently takes the perspective of another (e.g. when your protagonist assumes what another character is thinking or describes things in a way that an outside observer would).
Here are some tips to help you zero in on your POV character and avoid the kind of head hop that jars readers:
If you’re using multiple POV characters, mention the relevant character as soon as possible within the scene to avoid confusion. Consider the following:
Your reader will assume the scene is going to be in Brad’s POV and will be taken out of the story if you suddenly describe Janet’s thoughts and feelings. If you want the scene to be in Janet’s POV, it would be better to start with something like this:
Head hopping can afflict even the most experienced authors. By following these tips, you can identify potential problems and fix them before readers catch you on the hop.
Comments read 4 comments
Good and useful post, thanks Nola. I'll try hard to get it right next novel. I appreciated your opening.
Thanks for that Jeanette. It does take a while to get a handle on it, especially regarding the more subtle head hops. After writing that post, I went to edit a section of my novel manuscript and found a couple of slips I hadn't noticed before. Hopefully the more times I hear it, the more it will sink in. Thanks for commenting.
I found this post extremely helpful, Nola. I'd never really given the concept of head-hopping much thought till now, and while it's sometimes intuitive for me, I'm sure there are many other times when I slip-up. The manner in which you've explained the concept will help me greatly when I edit my manuscripts! Thank you.
Glad you found it helpful, Melinda. I find it's something I need to remind myself of. I'm pretty good at not overtly jumping across to someone else's head (most of the time), but it's easy to let those little slips in. Have found numerous in my work-in-progress. Looking forward to reading your stellar manuscript :) Thanks for commenting.
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